Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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