i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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