a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize