Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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