you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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