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i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize