Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
