Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
