can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
