I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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