But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
