...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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