puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
