I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
