You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
