I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
