the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
