i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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