Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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