Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
