What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
