Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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