So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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