I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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