in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
