I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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