I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
