what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Drake has all the answers
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
