What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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