Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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