My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
