you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
