you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
