I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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