Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
