i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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