He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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