I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
