Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
