There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
