She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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