i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
