Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
