He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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