saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
