Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
