she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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