Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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