Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
