So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
