cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
