well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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