i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
