there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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