i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize