I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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