Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
