i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
