If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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