So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
