Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
