Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
