TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My penis needs a shock collar
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize