just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
