community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
