Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
