There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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