oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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