I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
