I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize