Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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