CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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