Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I forgot wine drunk hurts
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
