Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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