Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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