Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize