I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
